Lessons from Ophelia: Part 2

Lesson #6: You can overcome your past. So what if you've endured trauma and hardship. Don't look at your days as if they will be filled with more of the same. Rather, expect the best and be optimistic. Ophelia used to be scared all the time, but she expects the best out of life now.

Lesson #7: Love can heal all wounds, even the ones you can't see. Give it freely, but also be willing to receive it.

Lesson #8: Be brave. If the door to the hallway is open, explore. Get out of your comfort zone every now and then.


Lesson #9: Be yourself. We all deserve to be loved, even if we don't conform to what's expected of us. Your genuine essence is what's truly needed, not some fake nonsense. Be the best "you" possible.

Lesson #10: There's more than enough to go around, so share generously. Ophelia understands that her needs will be met. She might ask for things, but she is calm about it. I was worried when I decided to adopt Lilith because Ophelia had been an only pet for so long, but she's shared my attention and pretty much everything else with Lil like the superstar sister that she is, and I'm really thankful.

Sharing Lilith's makeshift bed

Lessons from Ophelia: Part 1

Her royal highness has also taught me much over the years. Here are some highlights:

Lesson #1: When one's ability to trust another is seriously messed up, you need to be super patient and compassionate. There is light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a long tunnel sometimes.

Lesson #2: Trust your instincts. Ophelia has been right about everyone that has entered my house. From her, I've learned not to second guess my own instincts.

Lesson #3: Protect the ones you love, no matter how small you appear. Before the days of craigslist, I gave away a couch on the buy and sell. Ophelia didn't approve of the guy who came to get it, so she attacked him. I feel compelled to add that it's the only time she has ever done that, but I was really impressed that Ophelia was able to win that battle so courageously (he ran out the door as fats as his legs could carry him). 

Lesson #4: Ask for what you want, rather than expecting others to be psychic. Ophelia doesn't hesitate to meow if she wants food, toothpaste, or a cuddle.

Lesson #5:Question authority if you feel the need. Ophelia regularly attempts to challenge my "pack leader" status. It doesn't get her anything but grief, but you gotta admire her moxie.

Princess O loves to cuddle :-)

 

Grooming: A DIY experience

I have been grooming Princess O for as long as I've had her. Every morning, I brush her, clip one or two claws, and brush her teeth (in that order). Chicken flavoured toothpaste is the best invention EVER! 

Ophelia having a little post-grooming treat

Lil was a different story. Being a former show dog, I'm sure she was groomed ad nauseum in her early years. When she went to live with my mom at the age of 5, she was taken to the groomer's to have her fur and nails clipped. When I adopted her, I began to brush her myself, but continued to take her to the groomer's to have her nails done because I was too scared to attempt to do them myself. She never liked going. She'd shake as soon as we got in the door, then she'd emit this low level whine, and she wouldn't hold still for them at all, even if I was holding her. They got her quick twice because of all the squirming, so I decided that I was going to have to be brave and learn to do it myself. Deep breaths...

I went to the pet store to buy some clippers, and watched six different "how-to" videos on YouTube. Finally, I was ready. I tried holding her like in the videos, and it wasn't possible for me to groom her by myself. Then, I decided to hold her like a baby, and she actually seemed to like it! Mission accomplished! I don't clip that much off of her nails, but I do it every week, and she's super cooperative. We have an understanding: I get to clip one paw worth of nails, and she gets to lick a bit of chicken flavoured toothpaste. Seriously, it's the best invention EVER!

All it took to achieve this level of relaxation is consistency and perseverance. It was sooo worth it!

Lessons from Lilith: part 2

Lesson #6: You can totally teach an old dog new tricks. In the past three years, I have taught Lil sign language, a new grooming routine, and even a few tricks. 

Lesson #7: When someone loves you, trust them with all your heart and soul. When Lil started freaking out at the groomer's, I decided to learn how to clip her nails myself. I thought she'd freak out because of her recent unhappiness at the groomer's, but she just lays in my lap when I groom her. I can touch any paw I want, clip her nails, brush her tummy, whatever. It's so humbling to know that she trusts me that much. It's also inspiring that she has no doubts. Her trust is infinite, and that amazes me.  

Lesson #8: Forgive. I've tripped on her many times. I've startled her when getting ready for work in the morning. I even dropped a purse on her once. She has never held a grudge. Forgiveness is instant, and the past wrongs are never brought up again. Sure, she can't talk, but seriosuly, she never flinches when I stumble towards the bathroom in the morning, even if I've tripped on her before. She might remember the past, but she lives in the present.

Lesson #9: When someone is sad, don't be afraid of their emotions. Just sit with them and offer silent support. This is especially effective if you're super cute and cuddly.

Lesson #10: Love is all you really need. You don't need designer doggie clothes or imported kibble. You don't need a fancy car or a big house. All you really need to be happy is love. Give it, allow yourself to receive it, and be thankful for it. Lil went from living in a big house to living in a small apartment, and she's happy. She went from the prestige of the show ring to being doted upon by someone who works during the day. However, she's still happy because she's loved, and she knows it. Focus on what really matters.

Lessons from Lilith: part 1

Lil teaches me many things on a regular basis, so I thought I'd help her spread the word.

Lesson #1: Stop and smell the flowers (and the grass, and the rocks, and the trees, and the low lying shrubs...). Life is precious; the moments whiz by too quickly sometimes, but you can always take the time to appreciate them and be happy in the present.

Lesson #2: Work hard, play hard, and then give yourself a break. Naps are a great restorative treat for the body. 

Happy dog taking a nap :-)

Lesson #3: Eat! Enjoy your food without worrying about gaining weight. Eat when you are hungry. Love your food, and when you're full, stop eating. Trust that when you're hungry, food will magically appear. (Maybe I'm the only one that needs to be taught this lesson, but it's important, so I included it).


Lesson #4: Approach all others with an open mind, but trust your first impression. Lil doesn't mess around. She usually allows people and other dogs to sniff or pet her, but if she doesn't like them, she lets it be known, either by shaking or on very rare occasions, snarling. However, she tolerates most people and other creatures. She doesn't care what religion they practice or what country they were born in as long as they exude kindness, and I like that quality. If people were all like that, Earth would be a kinder, more compassionate place. 


Lesson #5: Define yourself by your abilities. Rather than focus on what she has trouble doing, Lilith still considers herself my protector. Sure, I carried her down the fire escape the other day, but she barked to warn me of the smoke, and clued in that there was danger two floors before I did. I doubt that her internal monologue included thoughts such as "I can't see as well as I used to" or "Woe is me, I'm so frail". Lil is a tough little kahuna, and she doesn't waste her time complaining or telling herself she is somehow inferior because of her age.

I get by with a little help from my friends (and sometimes total strangers)

Lil had her cartrophen injection this weekend, but it takes a couple of days for it to kick in, so her gait was a bit discombobulated today. As usual, people were commenting on her. Now usually, when people make comments, it's something like "Look, Henry, there's a dog in a buggy" or "Aww, what a cute dog", but today, someone actually said to me "Your dog is limping" like I had somehow failed to notice. Some people dispense veterinary advice like they know what they're talking about, and this guy went on to tell me I shouldn't be making her walk on it, blah blah blah. In keeping with my "fight ignorance with education" motto, I told him that in reality, light exercise is beneficial for arthritis, and that she gets to ride in her stroller whenever she's tired. He looked baffled, but seemed to be processing the information with an open mind. My work there was done, so we kept walking.
 
I try really hard not to be bothered by comments that other people make, but it did irritate me that he had the audacity to insinuate that I was being cruel to Lil by "making" her walk. I guess any parent can commiserate with the unsolicited advice and judgment. However, my spirits were lifted about twenty feet further down the path. Two men were sitting on a bench as we walked past. One shouted "Ooooo, there's our favourite dog, Lilith, and she looks faaaaabulous!" and immediately jumped up to ask how she was doing and scratch her chin. They were with another person, and the other guy told her not to pat Lil on the top of her head, and explained to her that Lil is nearly 17, and has a touch of arthritis but can still walk quite a lot, like he had known her since she was a puppy. All the while, I kept thinking "When did we meet?" because Lil has quite the fan club, and I don't always remember them. It's so nice to receive some encouragement and yes, even praise, from time to time. Thank you, total strangers. I so appreciate you.

Lil enjoyed a relaxing stroll almost all the way home

P.S. I'm sorry if I don't remember you! My dog is very popular :-) 

Back to the Drawing Board

After yesterday's epic fire escape plan fail, I went to the pet store and bought a carrier bag for Ophelia. A total stranger helped me choose it, and I'm so glad she was there because I wouldn't have had a clue otherwise. She pointed out that the shoulder strap clips needed to be strong to survive a 10 floor descent, so the bag I chose has metal ones instead of plastic. She also said it was important that the bag have a decent frame to prevent it from falling in on Ophelia. That really is a big deal. After all, I want her to be comfortable. Lil and I spent an hour outside yesterday. That would have been a long time for Ophelia to be trapped in a flimsy carrier. I would have preferred a backpack style as opposed to the shoulder bag style, but I think this is more ergonomic for Ophelia because she can lie down in it, and I can carry it quite easily. Now I can rest easier. I sure hope the revised plan works!

EPIC fire escape fail

My fire escape plan was an epic fail. Oh, the sad irony of having a carefully orchestrated plan and having it bomb so brutally! The fire alarm went off an hour ago. (It's still on because they can't figure out how to turn it off, but that's another story). Where was I? Oh, yeah, the fire alarm went off. Remember when I said I was going to carry Lil down the stairs? Well, I did, but I hadn't counted on her having an absolute coniption when she smelled the smoke around the 7th floor. She peed in my arms, then I almost slipped on it! I also hadn't counted on her howling and freaking out while waiting outside. That's so unlike her, and it broke my heart that I couldn't comfort her. The only thing that helped was going to sit in the car. AND we have an appointment at the vet tomorrow for her cartrophen injection. Oh man. Maybe the vet will come to the car and spare her having to go inside. Alas, I digress.

Remember when I said Ophelia was going to go into a pillowcase? Um, didn't happen. I tried, but I realized that I couldn't carry both, and I figured it was a false alarm because I couldn't smell smoke, so I left Phe in the suite. The way Lil was freaking, I'm glad Ophelia was hiding peacefully upstairs, but it wasn't a false alarm, so I will never leave little O again. What was I thinking? Our building is over 20 stories tall! So what if I couldn't smell smoke on my floor! Seriously. I'm so unimpressed with myself for my serious lack of judgment :-(  
 
Long story short: it's back to the drawing board for us. I will be going to the pet store to buy a backpack style carrier for Ophelia. One pet in the front, one pet in the back. It should work better than the pillowcase idea. I'm also going to keep a shoulder bag with a spare jacket for Lil, a spare leash, treats, and maybe a sweater for myself, too. 

Phew, they finally turned the alarm off. Lilith has stopped shaking. Ophelia is purring on the couch. As for me, I'm doing ok. Inhale, exhale, repeat...

Discipline isn't just for puppies and kittens

Observe any parent of a sick kid, and you'll see how hard it can be to discipline them. It can be the same with an elderly pet. After all, they can be frail, and you don't want to stress them. However, discipline remains a necessity throughout your pet's life.

It's necessary to maintain boundaries appropriate to your pet's abilities. For example, Lil is still expected to heel when we go for a walk, and she's not allowed to pull. She is capable of doing both, and is therefore expected to. However, she's not expected to come when called. That would be kind of silly, seeing as she can only hear loud noises, and I'm naturally soft-spoken. My expectations change with her changing ability level, but Lilith and Ophelia are not allowed to run rampant. When I see Ophelia trying to steal Lilith's food, she is told "no" and redirected to her own. She is as resistant to discipline as when she was younger, but I've remained stubborn, too.

Pets need boundaries and a strong leader. They don't need pity. If I let Lilith walk wherever she wants just because her sight and hearing are diminishing, I will most likely step on her, trip over her, and not enjoy our walks. If I let Ophelia eat Lilith's food, she'll most likely get sick. Discipline often contributes to safety and a high quality of life. 

Mommy wouldn't let me eat my sister's food. Hmpf!

Fire Escape Planning

Many years ago, when Ophelia was a wee kitty, our next door neighbour fell asleep with a cigarette on her couch, setting off the smoke detector, and filling our apartment with smoke. I was already asleep, so I succumbed to the effects of carbon monoxide immediately. Yup, I pulled the covers over my head to drown out the noise of the fire alarm. I also remember thinking that it smelled like smoke, but I was unable to clue in that maybe I should do something about it. Fortunately, Ophelia was there. 

I have never heard her meow as loudly as she did that night - not before and not since. When even her plaintive yodelling failed to wake me, she burrowed under the covers and began to bat at my face with her claws out. That worked. I was awake, and suddenly very scared. The whole apartment was full of smoke. I could barely see, and breathing was hard. Ophelia was so stressed that she was bouncing off the walls like a ping pong ball. There was a little old man knocking on doors shouting "Get the cats! There's a fire!" and I finally clued in. (In case you're wondering, the building was full of old people and cats). I looked at Princess O and said "Ophelia, you need to come to mommy right now", and she did, quite calmly in fact. We ran out the door and into the January night. No shoes, no jacket, no sense. I didn't stop to check if the door to the hallway was hot. I didn't get Ophelia's carrier. I just ran. It was a total gong show.

When the firefighters got there, they heaved the whole couch off the balcony and hosed it. The hole was about an inch in diameter, but it filled the whole floor with smoke. I coughed for days. I was lucky. I was lucky that Ophelia woke me, I was lucky that we made it out, I was lucky that Ophelia remained calm when the fire trucks with their blaring sirens got within 5 feet of her delicate little ears, and I was lucky that she didn't freak out and run into the street or something. 

I had been totally unprepared. Now that I know better, I have a plan. In the old ground floor apartment, we used the dog stroller to get both pets out safely. Now I plan to carry Lilith and put Ophelia in a pillowcase. Um, like I said...I plan to do that. It wouldn't be pleasant, but we're ten floors up, and you do what you have to do sometimes. Reality check: I can't carry the carrier down ten floors and carry Lilith. I can barely make it to the car with the carrier when with just Ophelia! I also have a sticker on the door to alert the firefighters that there are pets inside in case something happens when I'm not home. I hope that's sufficient. At least now I have a plan.

Commemorating Your Pet

·      I’ve recently begun to think about how I will commemorate the girls when their time to cross the rainbow bridge comes. I’ve come across some options, and would like to share them with you. 

There are many pet crematoriums, but it’s an unregulated industry, and if you want to ensure your pet’s ashes (and only those of your pet) are returned to you, then you need to watch the CTV story about crematorium fraud and educate yourself to prevent such issues. 

http://www.ctvbc.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20120327/bc_steele_pet_cremation_120327?hub=BritishColumbiaHome

Personally, I'm not big on keeping cremains, but I might wish to scatter them somewhere. There are gazillions of rules about where you can scatter ashes, so I'll have to do some further research on the topic.

As for me, I’ve decided that I’m going to take a gazillion pictures of Lil and Princess O while they're still alive, and maybe even a take a pawprint impression in clay. I would like a professional photographer to take some photos, but it’s super expensive, so I'm just going to use my trusty iphone and enjoy every day we have together.

 

Pregrieving

·      When my mom was sick, I grieved for her just as if she was already dead. Sometimes I find myself doing that with Lilith. I know the end is getting closer. Every day with her and Princess O is a gift, and I am so thankful, but because of Lil’s recent difficulties, I can’t deny that our time together is limited, and it hurts. I see young dogs chasing sticks in the ocean and I wish my dog could still run and leap like that. I mourn her loss of mobility and stamina just as much as I mourn her eventual loss. The golden years sometimes make you take off your rose-coloured glasses and face reality head-on. My dog is nearing the end of her life, and denial is a river in Egypt. Death is a fact of life, and the pain it causes is the price you pay for love.

Sometimes I try to imagine walking along the seawall without Lil, and I can’t picture it. How am I supposed to suddenly be without her? How will I find the courage to wake up in the morning without her wet nose kisses? How will I ever be able to walk past a dog and not cry? Well, I don’t know how, but I do know I’ve lost pets before, and somehow, after a period of grieving and emptiness, I rediscover the power of my heart and adopt another pet. I’m not looking forward to the grief, but every day with the girls is worth it.

Sharing a cuddle

Here's lookin' at you, kid...or not

When I first adopted Lil, she was a bit hard of hearing. She can still hear trucks, other dogs, and things that fall on the floor, but she can’t hear me ask her to sit, so I decided to teach her sign language. It wasn’t that hard, really. I invented some signs for simple requests such as “sit” and “come”, and she was rewarded with liver treats when she did as she was asked. (Shiba Inus are not off leash dogs, so there was never the question of what to do if she didn’t come when called from outside). The gradual decline of her ability to hear was a blip on the radar screen. 

Then she started losing her sight due to cataracts. That was much harder. I had to go to the library and get every book I could find to give me some suggestions about helping visually impaired dogs cope. I learned that a dog’s sense of smell is the equivalent of a human’s sight, and dogs can get on just fine without being able to see. They just need some help. Apart from the obvious suggestion not to move the furniture around, I learned that wearing a scent on the cuffs of your pants is helpful during walks so your dog doesn’t walk like a drunken sailor. I also learned that you can scent different parts of your house, and use real or fake plants as buffers to prevent your dog from bumping his or her head against a hard object such as a bookshelf or wall. Some people even get a special vest-like contraption that looks like there’s a hula hoop sticking out of it to prevent the dog from bumping into things. This is totally unnecessary for Lil because she can still see a little. She has precious little peripheral vision, but she can still see in front of her a bit, and even our recent move didn’t throw her that much. Still, if her sight deteriorates further, I feel prepared to handle it. For her part, she doesn’t seem to care that much. She really is a trooper.  

Lil is great at staring contests :-)

A stroll down memory lane: the Day Ophelia came home

Princess O had some pretty humble beginnings. She is the feline formerly known at Cat #90. I adopted her from the Burnaby SPCA when she was around 6 months old, and she was the saddest looking cat there. Picture it: the bottom shelf, tucked behind a bag of food, infested with fleas, infected with tapeworm, and downright miserable. That was my little princess. I noticed her beautiful eyes peering at me from the depths of her cage, and asked if I could hold her. I don’t understand it, but something in my heart just opened up. I knew that she would change my life forever, so I decided to adopt her. When I told the clerk I had chosen her, he said “That’s great. Just put her back in the cage while we fill out the paperwork.” Yeah, right. Ophelia resisted with everything in her might, and treated me to a yodeling session the likes of which I had never heard before. I ended up filling out the paperwork with one hand while holding her with the other hand.

Ophelia was a curious kitten. She jumped in the bathtub with me the night that she came home, and that’s how she got her name. Seriously, whoever heard of a cat that loved water? It took me 18 months to socialize her properly. I don’t know what happened in her first 6 months, but she was more easily startled than most cats, and could be quite aggressive. Cesar Millan wasn’t around in those days, so I had to go to the library and do some research. It was all worth it in the end. Ophelia is a cuddly, affectionate little kitty that enjoys sleeping on my forearm and purrs me to sleep every night. I’m so glad I chose her and not one of those adorable little kittens on the top shelves at the SPCA.