Changes

I'm able to think of Lilith and smile now. I still miss her, but I can look at her pictures and blow kisses at them without crying now. Ophelia has stopped meowing at the door every time I come in, but I think she's still kind of lonely, and would like a furry friend. 

I got to meet the puppies a couple of weeks ago, and will get to see them again soon. There's one in particular that stole my heart, and since I get second pick of the litter, the odds are good that he'll be able to come home with us. I'm so excited, but really scared, too. I've never been responsible for a puppy. I've had them, but as a child, so it doesn't really count. My mom isn't even alive for me to ask advice, so I'll have to muddle through as best I can. 

The puppies at 2 weeks old

I've got a puppy kindergarten program picked out, and just bought a lock for the garbage can today. I've read everything I could get my hands on about raising puppies, and now, all that's left is to live it. Just like caring for a senior pet, I'm sure there will be curveballs, but if I learned anything from Lilith, it's that I'm stronger than I ever thought possible, and I can adapt when necessary. Wish us luck!

The purpose of a dog

A friend of mine forwarded this to me, and I had to share because it's utterly perfect:

 

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa , and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.  I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.” Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.
He said,”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The Six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long."

Nuff said.

P.S. I found a source online. It's not the original, but it's better than nothing:
http://bayintegratedmarketing.wordpress.com/2012/03/18/a-dogs-purpose-from-a-6-year-old/ 

Grandma O

Our puppy was born on Monday, which means that in less than eight weeks, Ophelia will be an adoptive grandma! I think she'll enjoy having a little pup around. She's such a cuddler that as long as the puppy doesn't attempt to entice her into play, they'll get along just fine...I hope. It remains to be seen, but I'm optimistic. 

It'll be quite a change of pace from having a senior dog to having a puppy. Some of it will be the same though, such as the nocturnal potty excursions and the sleeping on the floor in case he needs comfort, the special food, frequent trips to the vet for immunizations and whatnot, etc. The main difference is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No, not THAT kind of light. In a few weeks, he'll be able to make it through the night, and then we'll be able to go on long walks and play fetch. Yay! I'm so excited!! 

The puppy's senior years are far away, but when they come, I'll love him right through them. By that time, I hope the good people at dogquality.com have a dog stroller suitable for large breeds, hint hint...

Our puppy is in here somewhere :-)

Things are looking up

Ophelia has started gaining weight again. I think she was stressed about losing Lilith. She tested negative for hyperthyroidism, and her xrays showed no signs of lymphoma, so we changed her food back to kibble and decided to wait and see. She just weighed in at 10 lbs, and I hope this trend continues. She looks much better with a little fat on her bones, though she still needs a bit more. 
 

Oh no...

Ophelia's lost a lot of weight lately, so I took her to the vet. They tested for thyroid problems and a worsening of her already present kidney disease, but those values came back normal. During her exam, the vet said her abdomen felt odd, and he was concerned about the possible presence of lymphoma, so today, we're going in for an x-ray. If she's got lymphoma, the prognosis is really grim. We're talking 4-6 weeks. I don't understand because she isn't acting sick, but my mother died of lymphoma, and she acted fine for quite some time, too. They could do surgery to remove the mass, followed by chemotherapy. However, at 15 1/2, I'm not going to put Ophelia through either. The writing is on the wall, and I can't believe how cruel a fate this is, especially so soon after Lilith's death. Ophelia and I have been together since she was about 6 months old. I have shared my pillow with her for 15 years! I've pulled her toothbrush out along with mine every morning, and haven't had an empty lap in a decade and a half. I haven't had to walk into an empty house after work in so long that I just don't know how I'll cope.

The best tribute to Lilith possible

I'm going to pay homage to Lilith the best way imaginable - by getting another dog. I loved Lilith with all my heart, and it sucks that she's not here anymore, but I loved the time that we spent together so much that I want to do it again, despite the inevitable eventuality of death. The best way for me to honour Lil is to love another dog. Maybe it makes precious little sense, but I think Lil would approve. In fact, I think she'd be proud.

Anyway, my next dog will indeed be a chocolate lab, just like I've always wanted, and his expected date of birth is September 20th, which means I should be able to bring him home some time around November 10th. That should give me plenty of time to adequately grieve Lilith's absence and get ready for a puppy. It'll be a major change of pace, but caring for Lilith in her golden years taught me to be adaptable, so I think I'm up for it. 

I finally settled on a breeder for two main reasons. First, when I checked 3 branches of the SPCA AND every rescue organization I could find online, they had very few dogs, and 80% of the ones they had were pit bulls or pit bull mixes. I think pit bulls are great, and I don't buy into the hype about their violent natures, but I intend to take this dog to my elementary school, and the parents might not understand. If parents complain, the district will most likely side with them, and I don't want the dog to sit at home all day when he could be with me at work. Anyway, I also tried looking for breeders rehoming dogs that had been returned to them for whatever reason, but they were few and far between, and the one I did find had jacked up the price by $400 because he knew how to sit, and was therefore "trained" according to her. Ummm, no. It just didn't seem to be working, and then when I thought about training my future dog to be a therapy dog, I realized the importance of socialization during weeks 8-12, so I concluded that a puppy would be best.  

What the future dog might look like

Who knew?

If you had told me a month ago that someday, I'd do anything for the opportunity to wake up in the middle of the night and carry Lil to the front lawn, I'd have called you crazy. Yet I would give anything to hold her in my arms on the elevator and wait patiently for her to sniff every blade of grass before finally peeing.